Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Miss Independent

There is something very liberating about being single. It has been over 4 months since The Break-Up and I am happy to report that I am, well, happy! Truly and unequivocally happy. My life is rich with great friends (Steve and Chevy, you know who you are) and a job that I love. I eat/sleep/socialize/exercise/travel when I want. My schedule and future plans are entirely my own. The messes I clean up are my own. There is no compromising or joint decision making. And the only person I answer to is me (and the Big Guy upstairs).

I know this sounds incredibly selfish. I also know that I would eventually like to find the Man Of My Dreams. So how does a serial monogamist working at an all-women’s hospital set out on this mission? Seriously, every “real” boyfriend I’ve had I have met in school (high school, college, medical school). I’ve never really dated before and the few first dates I’ve had have been painfully awkward… I mean, how do you get past the superficial crap and find out what a person is really like? And then there are the dating rules of the 2000s. What are they?!? For example…
    * Who pays for dates nowadays? If he doesn’t offer, is that a deal
    * Are there any off-limits topics for first dates?
    * Who decides when the date ends? How do you do this gracefully?
    * What’s the appropriate way to say goodbye? (handshake, hug, kiss
       on the cheek?)
    * Who brings up the idea of a second date? Are us ladies still waiting
       for him to make the first move? Does the 2-day rule still apply? 


  1. Loved that blog. Welcome to my fancy free, no strings attached world. Let me know if you need info on how dating works.


  2. Hey Fruut,

    Okay, I'm going to help you because, as you know, I am tremendously successful in this department.

    Almost anything can be off-limits depending on the sensitivity of the other person. I tend to play it safe and spend the entire first date enumerating the positive aspects of the Reagan presidency. That's something everyone enjoys. We should go out sometime, actually. ;)

    If you figure out answers to any of the others, let me know.

    One question you didn't ask is: What if I tell a guy that I love brownies, especially the ones around the border of the pan, and then later on that guy actually bakes and drops off some of these coveted edge-brownies for me in a VERY nice Tupperware container? What if I decide later on that we're not right for some reason -- is it okay for me to keep the container and just ignore his calls?

    The answer is no, absolutely not! Like any decent person, you should give the Tupperware back! :(


  3. you're funny...i guess cuz i'm not out there, i probably don't have good advice but part of me is thinking, who cares about the rules. just feel out every situation and act on what your gut says. we're too old to worry about what's appropriate right? i dunno...maybe i am just saying that only because i realize in a few short months i'm going to be shitting in front of a bunch of strangers while they poke at my twat for hours on end so i'm throwing etiquette out the door :}

  4. @ ray: send your advice my way
    @ vishal: uh oh, did you ever make me brownies? and did i steal your tupperware?!?

  5. No, I never made you brownies. And now, I never can. Unless you want them in a cardboard box or something. Like an animal!

  6. The questions you ask are good ones. I don't think there is any answer for any of your questions that will satisfy you however. Every person has their own take on what should happen in the dating world and it's not always what you think. Just remember that getting to know a person should be the fun part. The beginning of a relationship can really never happen a second time so just try to enjoy it! Then again I never dated much so I could be full of sh*t!! ;)