* you get splashed with amniotic fluid and think to yourself, “Do I really need to change my scrubs?”
* you can say you’ve caught a baby with only one glove on.
* respiratory mucus grosses you out more than cervical mucus.
* you think ferning under the microscope is beautiful.
* you can’t remember what the sex of the baby you just delivered was… two minutes ago.
* you can say that your clogs have come in contact with every single body fluid produced by the female body.
* you think placentas are pretty.
* you’ve been baptized by baby pee. And poop.
* you say things like “whiff of pit” or “shrom”.
* seeing a new dad cry makes your eyes well up with tears.
* you refer to your patients as “primips” or “multips”.
* you understand that this means: “This is a 19yo G3P2012 who is PPD#2 s/p SVD c/b PPH after IOL for severe PEC “.
* you can diagnose bacterial vaginosis before you’ve placed the speculum.
* you think Trichomonas under the microscope is really fun (not for the patient of course!)
* you think Mirena IUDs are by far and away the best birth control method. Ever.